Thursday, July 14, 2011

Time Heals All Wounds....Doesn't It??

I thought it was supposed to get easier after awhile...but instead its getting harder. I started therapy recently. The counselor told me it would get harder for awhile before it gets easier. Its like re opening a wound. I feel like I can't breathe, its like a panic attack on top of another panic attack. They barely have time to calm down before another one comes on. I hate hate hate the 14th. I hate this day and everything about it. How long until it gets easier? I guess only time will tell. Has anyone reading this gone through grief counseling before? How long did it take before it got easier? Its all at the surface right now, like it just happened yesterday. After to recollect everything all over again makes my stomach turn. I feel sick and dizzy; out of breathe. I hate this.

Grief sucks.


  1. Jason and I both went to couples grief counseling. It helped us in such a tremendous way being able to talk to someone who can help us through our grief.

    I wish I could tell you that it got easier but it just didn't. I'm still waiting for it to get better. It's just so incredibly unfair that we have to deal with the reopening of the scab over our broken hearts.

    *hugs* my friend

  2. Lynda, I feel for you and know what you mean. I have been in counseling for years. I had such a horrible sense of loss because I was not allowed to ever hold Meredith. It nearly drove me crazy the way the doctors treated me. Of course, that was many years ago. I can say it does get better but you will always miss little Johnny. Your loss is still so fresh, and I hope you get a wonderful counselor to help you. I found that there was a big difference over a "regular" counselor & one who was Christian based. The Christian counselor helped me more. That was just for me - I don't want to make any recommendations for you since everyone is different. I'm thinking about you & praying for you. It is a long road, just remember you are not alone. xoxo
    (I just re-followed your blog - when Blogger was having all their problems I lost some of the blogs I followed - please don't think I dropped you on purpose!)

  3. I found your blog on faces of loss, faces of hope. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Johnny. I have been struggling a lot lately as well. My daughter, Lily Katherine, was stillborn at fullterm on March 16, 2010. I feel like people expect me to be moving on but some days it feels so raw, like it just happened. I feel this is a deep wound we will live with forever and time won't make it easier. It hurts that people don't understand. I'd love to have you follow along on my blog as well: