Hello week 29! As of Sunday 12/5 we have officially started our 29th week. I'm so glad I've made it this far, but so worried that something can happen at any time now.
I looked at myself in the mirror today, getting ready to take my 29 week picture and I became disgusted with my body. I'm huge, ugly, and just gross. I hate the way I look. I don't have the "pregnancy glow" everyone keeps talking about, I just look....disgusting. I know I shouldn't worry about how I look, that its not important, but still I can't seem to shake this feeling. So I'm sorry folks, no belly shot this week.....and perhaps not again during this pregnancy.
I found Dr. Z last week (thanks to Facebook) and made an appt for today. After an hour long drive to her new office I finally got to have a sit down with her. First she checked baby girls heartbeat, which was in the 150's like usual. Then measured the fundal height which measured at 32 weeks! Holy smokes! Just last week at the her ultrasound she was measuring right on target, talk about a big jump! I'm curious to see how much she weighs at our next ultrasound on Monday! Then we got to talk about the "big" stuff. First, future testing. We are going to start doing NST's twice a week, measuring baby girls fluid once a week (via ultrasound), and checking baby girls growth once a month (via ultrasound). Next we discussed my c-section date. The date was set for February 14th so far, but as it gets closer Dr. Z feels it would be better to deliver sooner rather than later. I have an amnio scheduled for around 35 weeks to confirm or deny if baby girl has down syndrome. This test can also be used to check lung maturity. We have decided to wait until 37 weeks to do the amnio that way they can check for both at the same time. So that leaves me with the decision of whether or not I would want to deliver baby girl at 37 weeks or wait until 39 weeks (they will not let me go past 39 weeks because of my past fetal demise and because this is c-section #4) its just too risky. We could go ahead at have her around 39 weeks and continue doing testing for those two weeks, or just go ahead and have her around 37 weeks after checking for lung maturity. Big Johnny pretty much leaves all these decisions up to me (thanks guy) so its all on my shoulders. 37 weeks would put us at January 31st but the c-section would be a couple days after the amnio so we are looking at February 2nd. With Dr. Z's words still floating in my head "A demise can happen at anytime" I'm freaking out. She didn't tell me this to "freak me out" more to bring the reality into the situation that really at anytime I lose my baby, not that I didn't know that before, but still. So now I sit at a crossroads, what should I do? I have an appt with the peri on Thursday and I'm sure she will also have an opinion on the subject to add, but essentially, the decision is mine, and mine alone.
What will I do?