So I had my glucose test today with Dr. Z. I haven't gotten the results back and she said normally they don't call in those results, you just find out at your next appt. Which is totally fine since am now seeing Dr. Z every two weeks. Dr. Z also confirmed my every two week ultrasounds with the peri and also has set me up with NST tests every week with the peri. The ultrasounds and NST tests are because of our "fetal demise". (Have I mentioned how much I HATE that phrase btw?) As its getting very close to that same time frame that my placenta started to fail my little Johnny. Needless to say we will be making sure little Sunshine is A-OK and this is making me feel a little more relaxed (totally not completely relaxed but at least a little).
After Dr Z goes over all that with us, she then proceeds to tell us that she is leaving the practice! Say....what?! To make a long story short the other dr's in the practice are very old and very set in their ways. I have only had contact with them a couple of times and it wasn't good. I ABSOLUTELY do NOT want these women delivering my baby. Dr. Z then goes on to tell me that she already has a new office but its going to take a little time to get set up. She is also unsure because of legal reasons if she can even contact me after the move, so I might have to go through my insurance to find her. YIKES!! :insert freaking out: Also that at my next appt (in two weeks) that I will have to see one of the other dr's (the wicked witch from the west) :insert double freaking out: but that after that she should be set up and I should be able to find her. Only catch - her new office is about 40 minutes away from my house
but she is going to try to get in another office closer to my area at least one day a week, but that is not confirmed yet. One way or another we will work it out because Dr. Z WILL deliver Sunshine (thankfully she is still delivering at my hospital):insert triple freaking out:
So I kept it together while making my appt with the evil dr, all the way home, and even for a minute while I was in the house.....and then.....I lost it. I started freaking out!! What happens if I go into labor between now and then? What if something goes wrong? What if I have to deal with the evil dr posse? They don't know my history! They don't know about my son! They don't know ANYTHING!!!! Big Johnny tried to reassure me that its all in my chart - but a chart does not build a bond, a chart does not know me by name, a chart does NOT understand what we have been though. A chart just states facts, thats all a chart can do.
So now, I'm a mess. I want my mommy!