It feels like time is creeping by. Today begins week 21. Three more weeks until viability; yet week 21 was greeted by the most horrendous contractions known to man. I swear it felt like I was going to meet my little Sunshine much too soon. Thankfully, the contractions subsided after sporadically coming for just a little over 3 hours. I woke up feeling my little Sunshine much much lower than I have ever felt her and the contractions began not much longer after that. Because of this we ended up missing church. I hate missing church. Our household just isn't the same on the Sundays that we don't attend at least sacrament. The feeling of hostility and aggression fill our rooms and I can feel it in my heart. There is a looming feeling in our household on those days that can only be explained as Satan himself attempting to drag us off into his fiery hell. I hate that feeling. But I don't like sitting in church writhing in pain either. I always feel like everyone is looking at me, wondering why it is that other women seem to have no problem having children, but here I sit looking like I'm going to die. I always feel like someone is judging me and I hate it. I'm sure they aren't. I'm sure its only something that I have conjured up in my head but nonetheless, I still feel that way. So we spent this Sunday at home. The majority of the day I spent resting, trying to breath through the oh so powerful contractions. When they finally subsided I was able to get some laundry done and even make a delicious dinner.
So what's my little Sunshine up to this week? Well by now she should weigh just under a pound and be somewhere around 11 inches long. She should be drinking amniotic fluid, which means she has started to swallow. She should be going through another growth spurt this week and start packing on some "baby fat". Sunshine should also be experiening REM this week (something I have been missing for a few weeks now).
As for me? I'm doing pretty good about living without Zofran. I take the occasional pill but its nothing like it was before. I take maybe one a day, if that. Most days I'm just fine without it. I'm still getting heartburn so I really hope this baby has a head full of hair! I'm swelling up pretty bad at night but it seems to just be normal pregnancy swelling and not pre-eclampsia like at all. I haven't had a good nights sleep in weeks but I guess thats just my body's way of preparing me for my little Sunshine.
Tomorrow is our "anatomy scan". We already know Sunshine is a girl, so this ultrasound is more for information that fun. We will be looking at her heart and brain. This should tell us if she has another other markers for any abnormalities. Please pray that our little Sunshine is perfectly healthy! I strongly believe in the power of prayer. I'm so very very scared.
I can't wait to meet my baby girl. I love you Sunshine Anaiese Fayth. I love you so much already.